As the year winds down, I’ve been sifting through the memories of 2016, and got stuck on this one today:
I started this year worrying that I would try to outrun grief. This was a silly fear because it turns out sorrow is pretty light on its feet – it has a way of moving into all the seasons of life. This summer, I attended a wedding with a friend. It was a wedding Steve would have been really happy about and as I sat there in that magical venue, witnessing the obvious love between the bride and groom, I was overwhelmed with happiness and said to my friend, “I wish we could text a picture of this to Steve in heaven.” We laughed a little at the idea just as a beautiful girl with a haunting voice began singing the song that had been the most important to me during my last few years with Steve: Time After Time.
If you fall, I will catch you, I’ll be waiting…time after time.
And: many tears. Because the moment was filled with such weighty waves of beauty and and sorrow and beauty again.
I’m not totally sure why I’m sharing this one today except maybe someone needs to know that, yes, sorrow is dodgy and it will find you and keep finding you for a very long time. Maybe even for forever. But so will beauty. It’s also pretty fast on its feet.
And one more thing: Thank you to my wedding date for handling a deeply emotional moment with great compassion. We all need a few high quality humans who are willing to step into our mess and sit quietly, without trying to fix the place up too much. Cliff Brady is that kind of friend to me and a fantastic wedding date as well.
Day 520: Still thankful. Still hopeful. Still standing.
With hope,
Bo
Thank you for a glimpse into your life. I still pray for you.
Who knows, but Steve, hanging out with that cloud of witnesses, may well have been cheering for that couple along with you! I love Randy Alcorn’s book on Heaven. The youth version is also good. My husband and I laugh because when the thought of God above watching us couldn’t convict B if he was rude to me, the thought of my mom, whom he’d never met, smashing his pearls in heaven gave him GREAT conviction! LOL. Go, Mom!
I thought you’d want to know: I bring my first meal to an ALS mom tomorrow. I also gave her When Holidays Hurt, as they prepare not only for the holidays, but also for her first daughter’s wedding. My only regret is that I didn’t get to read it first.
Christmas blessings.
Thanks for this post, Bo. I have been thinking of you and praying for you. You came and spoke to us here in Denver last year (2015), and when you came, I bought two of your “When Holidays Hurt” books. Didn’t really have anyone in mind, just wanted to support you and felt impressed to do so. Here we are in December of 2016 and TWO PEOPLE here at the radio station have lost their moms. One, just a few weeks ago. Now those two books will bless some families facing a Christmas without mom and grandma. Isn’t God good? Will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers. God Bless and Merry Christmas.