Bo Stern

It’s true!  I have signed with NavPress to publish my first book and I’m really excited.  You, like me, may be wondering, “How in the world?”  Here’s a little back story  (where “little” equals “more than you probably want to know, but humor me because I don’t get to do this every day.”)

1975:  My 6th grade teacher, Ms. Barbur, tries to encourage me to work more and talk less by telling me I should consider a career in writing.  This sticks with me and even though I never actually do quit talking, I grow in my love for writing.  (Ms. Barbur, incidentally, was the first woman I ever knew who was neither a Miss nor a Mrs. and it seemed very confusing and dangerous to my sixth-grade sensibilities.)

1982:  Wanting to get out of my small town, but being only 16 years old, my parents help me decide that a year or two at Bible college is a better start for me than jumping into the deep, dark waters of University life.  I just plan to kill a little time and maybe get a date or two, but one word study in the Greek and Hebrew and I’m hooked.  I don’t necessarily love college, but it is where I learn to love the Word of God like none other.  (I also got a really awesome boyfriend there who maintains that position to this very day.)

2007:  Startling discovery: blogging is a great way to get rid of a lot of extra words.  I write my first post and agonize over the prospect of sending all those words out into the world to be ravaged by wolves and agnostics and stuff.  After much searching of the soul, I take the brave leap into blogdom and my words go out to a crowd of about six.  And my mom.  To my knowledge, no agnostics were in this initial batch of readers (though I do have some who email me now and they’re generally clever, insightful and kind.)

Fall 2010:  My strong husband begins to feel very weak and we take our first, wobbly steps toward the most frightening days of our lives.  Again my blog becomes the place I go to share my heart, and the warmth and love we receive when we tell the story of Steve’s diagnosis is just staggering.  And beautiful. In the midst of these crazy, spinning days, we are approached by a literary agent who has become familiar with my blog and my speaking, with the offer of representation.  (It rarely happens this way – generally, authors have to pursue agents but I can tell you that I never, ever would have had the time or the heart or the energy to pursue anything other than getting dinner on the table during this season of our lives.   So, this connection felt very divine, very right.)

For the rest of 2010 and through the summer of 2011, I work on the book, Beautiful Battlefields – the story of how God meets us in the fiercest fights of life and makes us strong and beautiful through them.  In September of 2011 the proposal goes out to publishers and I go back to getting dinner on the table.

December 2011:  We – amazingly – receive offers from two fantastic publishing houses and after prayerful consideration, decide to sign with NavPress.  I am still astounded and so excited to be working with such a great publisher, with a rich history of providing excellent discipleship resources.

Release date for the book is set for February, 2013.  I know it seems like  a long way off – but that’s because you don’t have to edit it.  Do you have any idea how many commas and colons are going to need to be fixed in that poor manuscript?  Turns out, I have never fully grasped several fundamental elements of punctuation and have developed a love affair with ellipses that is…unhealthy.  Much work ahead!

So, that’s my story.  I’ll keep you updated as things happen.  I’ll probably whine about the process a fair amount.  But for Steve and I, at the end of the day, our prayer remains the same as it has been since our very first date in 1984:  Jesus, be glorified.  In all our words and ways.  In all our hopes and dreams.  Be the singular, shining focus of our lives.  Because only You are worthy.

Solo deo gloria,

Bo

Several weeks ago, I showed up at work on a Monday feeling sort of down.  It was a gray day and things had not been terrible, but they also hadn’t been awesome.  It was just a hard stretch of road I was on at the time and I had a moment of questioning in my car that morning:  do You really see me here, God?

When I got to work I found a card in my box with a gift inside and a Starbucks card (the ultimate gift!)  The money was a great blessing, the Starbucks card was a great treat, but the card was the real treasure.  It said:  we just want you to know that you’re loved.  Since there was no signature, I knew it was straight from God Himself – a note to remind me on a hard day that He still saw, still knew, still cared, still loved.  He is so good that way and I’m amazed at the way people hear and respond to Him.

Every week for the next several weeks, a new card was in my box with a gift.  Every week, it was a crystal clear reminder that we are intimately loved by the God who has infinite resources.

I don’t know who gave those beautiful cards and gifts, but I hope you read my blog because I want you to know how you have been the hands and handwriting of Jesus for us these past few weeks.  Thank you is small here on earth, but I believe that our words reverberate in heaven and I know for sure that our good and true Father will pay you back in about a million ways.

Thank you.  We are blessed.

Bo for Team Stern

P.S.  If you have a friend going through an extended season of suffering, please know that every single act of kindness adds strength to their fight.  Notes, flowers, coffee – all these things swirl together to remind those on a rough road that they are not alone.

While we were in Florida, I read an article about an online dating company.  Those are certainly not rare in this day and age, but this one is a novelty because they specialize in helping married people find dates with people other than their spouses.

 Their slogan is “Life is short.  Have an affair.”

They claim they’re actually helping to save marriages by giving couples a way to meet other people while staying in their relationships.  And they’re making $60 million every year.

In other news, Steve and I went to an Andrea Bocelli concert on Sunday night.  Steve loves Andrea Bocelli and I love Steve.  And wouldn’t you know it…his encore was our song :  I Can’t Help Falling in Love with You.  Did I cry?  Yes, I certainly did.

And as I listened to that beautiful song, I thought of all those people, working so hard to cultivate new relationships with secret partners and wondered if there was a way that I could gather up the days they didn’t want to spend with their spouses…

…and save them up to spend with mine.

Is there an online site for people who Can’t Help Staying in Love?

Because that would be beautiful.

You know what you guys?  I forgot some things before I went on this trip to Orlando.  They are…

I forgot how much I love Seussland at Universal.   It’s bright and happy and you just can’t feel morose there.  If there were rules in Seussland then feeling morose would be against them.

On the flipside, I forgot how scary  Harry Potter’s Forbidden Journey is.  I closed my eyes a lot.  This photo is before the ride…during the 45 minute wait in line. But it looks scary, huh?

I forgot how much I love having dinner with old friends.  This is Bob and his lovely lady, Debbie.  Bob and Steve have been friends since Jr. High.    My son, Josiah, is 12 and I sure hope that in 38 years he’s still meeting his friends, Levi and Ethan and Kincade for dinner.  That’s good friendship.

Also,  I love, love, love having my whole family together under one roof – but I forgot how much I love having extended time with just one kid.  It’s such a gift.

And I love seeing that kid loving time with her dad.

…and also with ice cream.

And one more thing:   as I was looking through these pictures from yesterday,  I saw one and I had this dusty recollection of a feeling that I haven’t entirely forgotten, but it has gotten a little faded over the past year.

Sometimes you don’t even realize that things are missing in your life

until they come back to you

and it’s like a raincloud breaks and you feel the drops and you want to dance around in it because the ground has been dry for too long.

That’s how I felt when I saw this and remembered that maybe I had forgotten…

to remember to laugh

freely.  Because life is meant to be lived and loved and laughed at.

Remembering,

Bo

One year ago this week was Steve’s diagnosis.  I’ve told you a lot of times how he talked with our kids and asked them what they would like to do with him and those conversations led to this trip and this one and also this one here.

Perhaps you’ve noticed that none of those posts include this girl.

That’s because as we were planning her trip, she felt that God was nudging her to do this trip.  It felt a little risky at the time – not knowing how long we had to get these memories made – but we were so, so proud of her for choosing to serve her world, even knowing that it might cost her something precious.   She’s a good one, that girl.

The happy news is:  this is the week of her trip.   We’re going to Orlando to see this place again.  Last time, Victoria was the only one who had read any of the books or seen the movies.  This time, I’ve done my homework and I am ready to rumble  in Potterland.  And you would be wise to never underestimate my rumblin’ skillz.  Heh.

Another happy surprise?  My Christmas gift to Steve was tickets to see Andrea Bocelli in concert in Orlando.  Mr. Bocelli is Steve’s favorite, but he’s only playing three dates in America in 2012 and I was astounded when I saw that one of them was in Florida on the very date we were already planning to be there.  So, good things this week.

This is our last big family “wish” trip.  I have mixed emotions about that.  It has been lovely to do them and I can’t believe we’ve been able to pull them off – but they have been weighty with meaning and heavier to carry in my heart than I anticipated when this whole journey began.  They’ve also been very expensive.  I’m not complaining – it’s worth every penny – but I’m just ready to go back to regular, gather- around-the-family-table living, you know?  I’m also more than a little ready to have a certain baby boy present at family dinner and he is at this point, just over three weeks from his scheduled eta.  Eeek!  I have Grandma gear to buy!

God is good.  That’s what I know for sure.  He is good and He has done great things for this little tribe I loosely call “mine”.  He has given us a chance to really live out some dreams and to see each other in both brand new and comforting old ways.  He has provided miraculously and has confirmed every step, making a smooth path beneath our feet (and I really, really needed one.)  It deserves to be said again: He is good.

I think it was sometime in March or April of last year that Steve ran into this song while shopping for new music.  He listened to it over and over again, tears streaming down his face.  It moves him.  It moves me.  I really believe that it moves the heart of God.  His kingdom…come.  His will…done.  On earth, in heaven, in us.  Enjoy…

Psalm 39:7 And now, Lord, what do I wait for?  My hope is in You.

40:1 I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me, and heard my cry.  He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps.  He has put a new song in my mouth – praise to our God; many will see it and fear, and will trust in the Lord. 

This waiting idea is a strong one.  Patient waiting is only ever required because God is taking longer than we’d like for Him to take. If I’m drowning in a horrible pit of miry clay, I’d like to call and have Him quickly and kindly answer, “Here I am.”  I’d like, in fact, for Him to catch me before my toes touch that sucking, sloshing mud.  While I’m wishing with abandon, I’d really actually, most especially like for Him to cover up all those dumb pits and potholes so that I never experience their murky depths.

But instead, I wait.

I wait because He waits.

I know He’s not busy or preoccupied because the next verse says, “Many are your wonderful works and Your thoughts toward us cannot be recounted to You in order…they are more than can be numbered.”

“Innumerable thoughts” can only mean that He is always, always thinking of me.  He is thinking of me when I am dancing in open meadows, and He is thinking of me when I am making hash marks on the walls of deep holes.  He knows my frame and the number of hairs that are waiting in that dark ditch for some sign of hope.  He sees, He knows, and He intends to deliver, so why does He wait?

Perhaps because His plan is not for my life to be perfect, but for it to be perfected.

So, with infinite knowledge and fierce Father-love, He waits.

And so do I

Thinking of Him while He’s thinking of me.

I will wait.  Hope will come.

Blessed is the one who makes the Lord her trust. 

Dear Grandbaby,

This is the week of my anniversary.  Grandpa and I got married 27 February’s ago and – whew! – it doesn’t seem like that long at all.

I know it seems like you have all the time in the world to figure out something as nuanced and complex as marriage, but actually it’s already a big part of your life, so here’s what I really want you to know:

• You will soon arrive in a world where marriage is a come-and-go proposition.  It’s a world where exit strategies are constructed before the vows are said and words like ‘forever’ are treated with the same reverence as ticket stubs and grocery receipts.  Please know:  forever is possible and difficult and beautiful like few other things can be.

• Marriage is not easy.  It’s a lot of working and talking and fighting and dying to your own desires and serving and hoping and resisting all other options, no matter how compelling they may appear at the time.  But it is also a lot of laughing at secret jokes and dancing in the kitchen while the kids are asleep and holding tight to each other through fierce storms, feeling unspeakably thankful that you are not alone and that you have someone else to assure you dry land is just in sight.  Many will tell you downsides of the institution, please take it from me:  it is wonderful.  Amazingly, incredibly wonderful.

• Marriage is not for children.  It’s for adults who are ready to face a big, scary world together, believing that they will create something more beautiful than the sum of their parts.  It’s for those who have dreams bigger than their own abilities and they really want to grab the hand of someone wonderful and take on the next challenge.   Sometimes children do get married, but they have to quickly decide if they want to stay children or stay married.  Because marriage is for grownups.

• Marriage is not for “no” people.  The greatest gift your grandfather has given me is that he believes in me to an alarmingly dangerous degree.  He believes in me more than I believe in myself.  He believes on my worst days.  He believes…and he constantly communicates the YES to me.  “Yes, you can be a woman in a man’s world.”  “Yes, you can be taken seriously in the kingdom.”  “Yes, you do have something to say.”  “Yes, you can conquer the laundry.”  When my faith teeters on the brink of “No, Sir, I certainly cannot,” his yes swoops in and picks me up and sets me on my feet again.  Marriage is not for cynics.  It’s for crazy dreamers who will stake their flag in the ground of another person’s possibilities and refuse to budge.  Marriage is for people who are willing to live the yes.

• Marriage is for pray-ers.  Because no matter how hard you try and work and believe, you will run into a moment when your happiness is at stake and your future is in jeopardy.  It could be a battle from without or within.  It could be a distraction or a diagnosis or a defeat so great you just don’t know how you’ll ever recover.  So many things swirl and spin through the course of an average marriage, that you couldn’t possibly prepare for them all…except to pray.  And the God who created the concept of relationships will hear and He will redeem the story for His great glory and your great joy.  He will.  I know this one.

• If given the option between getting married on a romantic holiday like Valentine’s or an obscure one like Ground Hog’s Day, choose obscure.  It’ll make you laugh for the rest of your lives and that’s worth about a million of anything else.

I love you, sweet Grey, and I am already praying for the one who will share your future.  It’s never too soon to invite His presence into the picture.

Grandma Bo

Dear Sweet Grandbaby,

This is your party.

Your big day.

Well, it’s the first big days of many big days you will have in the course of your life.

This one is called a shower because all your friends come to shower you with presents as they anticipate your arrival.

When you think about it, it’s a really good idea.

Because also we had cake.

And we saw pictures of your mom and dad when they were little.

Just between you and me, it’s still amazing that my baby is having a baby.  Just amazing. Also amazing?  Your auntie Tess.  She really is and you are lucky to have her in your life because she and her camera will be making you look good for a long time to come.  Also?  She’s very wise but you’ll have to listen closely because she’s not so much a shouter.

Of course your beautiful Grandma Cathy came to your shower and, seriously, Sir?  You hit the grandparent jackpot with this one.  She is strong and fun and funny and creative and kind and everything you could ever want in a friend – much less an actual GRANDMA.  You will love her and she will love you and that’s all there is to it.

Here is the fun little card we each filled out for you.  Now, I really love words so this was an exciting project for me – but I tell you, I had to think and think and think about my answers.  In the end, I couldn’t think of anything to write on that card that was as special as you are.  I have a feeling you will challenge all my adjectives for a very long time.

Your party was happy and it was filled with happy things and happy people and so many ooh’ing, ahh’ing women.

Oh, and also plaid shirts.

And two more things I want to say related entirely to this picture.  1)  You live in Oregon.  Yay!  2)  Your mom is beautiful and that look on her face is not because of the shirt (though it’s really cute), it’s because of you.  All because of you.  She’s been waiting for you for a really long time.

Six weeks and counting,

Grandma Bo

Oh, books!  How I love them.  Here are a few stacked up on my night stand and inside my Kindle right now.

I love all the work of Eugene Peterson.  He wrote The Message translation of the Bible – which is known for it’s street-level language.  I’ve discovered that those who know The Message, with all it’s “God of Angel Armies” wordology, expect all of Peterson’s work to be very basic.  Wrong.  He is a brilliant scholar who has created simplicity for us with The Message – but he’s created it by wading through the deep waters of complexity in the original language.  He’s written many books on theology and I love them (especially one called Working the Angles and another called Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places).  However, unless you really enjoy untangling the knots of biblical theology, you probably won’t enjoy those books.  I think some people are wired up for that sort of study and some aren’t and it has nothing to do with how much anyone loves God – it’s just a weird brain mechanism that triggers a fascination with the undercurrents and underpinnings of the giant, mysterious Word of God.  I have a friend who wants to know how everything works on an airplane when he flies.  I don’t care how anything works on an airplane.  And yet, the plane takes us both where we need to go.

Here’s one of Peterson’s books that I think is great for those who want to board the plane and fly somewhere beautiful without needing to know how the backup engines work:

A Year with Jesus takes the New Testament in bite-sized pieces and joins it with Eugene Peterson’s brilliant (in certain readings I would dare say “breath taking”) commentary and personal application.  If you, or someone you love is A)  just getting started in the exciting adventure through the back roads of the Bible or B)  does not have unlimited time to put into Bible study or C) just loves having a little company on the devotional journey, then this could be a great fit.  Each day requires only about 10 minutes, but could consume as much thought and prayer time as you’d like to give to it.

Another book I love is this devotional by, Jim Stephens, a man we are blessed to call our friend.  In each entry, he tackles a small portion of scripture with wise, witty and winning application. You can order a copy of Grace Notes here.  I got this book for my birthday and it’s been keeping me company in my devotions ever since.

I got this book on my Kindle right after it came out in October and read it fast.  Angie Smith is a warm, accessible writer tackling a topic that most women will quickly relate to.  It’s an easy but challenging read and I highly recommend it.

I’m currently going through this book with a group of young women and we’re finding it very interesting:

Nancy Beach has been a part of the leadership team at Willowcreek since its inception and she shares invaluable insight for women who feel called to lead in the church.  The book does not delve into the theological controversy surrounding women in leadership – though many, many other books do – it is built on the assumption that those reading it have already worked their way through the words of Paul.  I like that she doesn’t spend time on that because it frees the pages up for the rich wisdom she’s learned from the trenches.

If you are looking for a book that examines the doctrinal basis for women in leadership, I recommend Jack Hayford’s Women in Ministry Leadership or Daniel Brown’s The Problem with the Problem with Women in Ministry Leadership.  Both of these books come to a pro-woman conclusion, but rest assured: I’ve read the other books too.  If you want a completely different angle on the issue, check out John Piper’s book Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: A Response to Evangelical Feminism.  I don’t agree with his conclusions, but I greatly respect his work and I think that we need to read both sides of the story before claiming a position.

So, there you have it.  A potpourri of books to fill your days and nights and vacations.

Happy Friday,

Bo

It’s a snow day here in Bend, Oregon.  We’re pretty hearty snow people, so these days are a rare treat for our kids.  I think what kicked this one to the cancellation curb is that the wind is also quite fierce, creating a sideways-blowing-blizzardy-snowy storm that is truly a pleasure to watch from my warm living room.

All I really want to say today is this:  I’m so thankful for shelter.

The strength of the storm proves the strength of the house.

The strength of the house proves the brilliance of the builder.

The brilliance of the builder is the beauty of our lives.

This is hope.

Enjoy your day in every sort of weather,

Bo