I have recently fallen in love with this blog, written by a young woman whose husband died suddenly almost two years ago. This small piece that she re-posted sang my heart’s song regarding love and loss and commitment and marriage…real marriage, not the cheap, fluffy stuff that flies through our culture like cotton from trees. While our world grows better and better at producing million-dollar weddings, we seem to possess only a teaspoonful of endurance to live out the complicated business of togetherness.
To love, is to risk. To endure. To trust. To hope. To fail. To forgive. And then to love again in deeper, truer measure. That’s love, and it’s hard to lose, but losing it – I’m convinced in my marrow – is a far better fate than willingly settling for anything less.
The past two years in the shadowy valley have been the most difficult of our lives, but the shadows can’t begin to dim the sun of twenty-eight years of falling in and fighting for love. That’s why these words are so deeply dear to me:
‘Tis a fearful thing
To love
What death can touch.
To love, to hope, to dream,
And oh, to lose.
A thing for fools, this,
Love,
But a holy thing,
To love what death can touch.
For your life has lived in me;
Your laugh once lifted me;
Your word was a gift to me.
To remember this brings painful joy.
‘Tis a human thing, love,
A holy thing,
To love
What death can touch.
~ Judah Halevi or Emanuel of Rome, 12th Century
How this poem has touched me just as death has touched my love. Love is to risk, endure, trust, hope, fail, forgive but the hardest is to let go.
That is so Beautiful!!! Really makes you think!!!
This is beautiful Bo, I’m forwarding it on to my love right now!
I used to have a little plaque that said “It is better to have loved and lost, lots better.” The courage to love is so admirable, even knowing there will always be loss.
I think the world would be a better place if marriage didn’t fly through the air like fluffy cotton. I don’t think I can imagine a world where everyone loved so seriously that they stayed together instead of moving on to what they think is the next best thing. Cheers to 28 years and here’s to 28 more 🙂
here here!
Bo, I remember meeting Steve on the shuttle bus to capitol hill in may. I am so glad to stumble upon your blog! I also was diagnosed in 2011. I love the way you write! Please know I am praying for Steve and your family. ALS does give me the gift of quiet time with the lord! Xoxo Anne
Anne, I remember meeting you as we’ll – Steve and I talked about how you have beautiful red hair like one of our daughters. 🙂 What a blessing to hear from you! My little blog is therapy for me and has become a sort of gathering place for PALS and CALS to share hurts and hope. I’ve met the most remarkable people through it and I’m so thankful. Let’s stay in touch, friend – I’m praying for you and your family today as well. -Bo