When we were on our way home from the beach, we rounded the corner on a busy highway and were met by the terrified faces of three deer – a mama and two tiny babies.
Please note for the record: I hate deer. They eat my flowers and mess up my yard and they are not beautiful to me – they are supersized vermin. However, these little baby ones were pretty darn cute.
Back to my story: the sudden arrival of our car into their Saturday morning stroll, scared the fawns and caused them to first freeze in the road and then to wander right back into our lane. We were completely stopped at this point, just watching them try to figure out their travel plans, and then the funniest thing happened. The mama deer totally stared us down! She moved our direction while her babies scurried like mad behind her and I swear to you she was ready to body slam our SUV had we made one move toward them. This made us laugh because A. She wouldn’t have won that fight and B. If she’s so protective, maybe she oughta get her babies off the road, yes?
This month I’ve been frustrated with the passion level in my life. I’m normally exuberantly in love with the Word and with time with God, but recently I’ve seriously struggled to maintain my energy and focus. And I’ve been feeling like I just haven’t been finding cool stuff in the Word like I used to. It’s been frustrating, but not frustrating enough, you know? If it were MORE frustrating, I would have fixed it sooner.
So, this morning as I opened the pages of the living and active Word of God, there were about a hundred things that jumped out into my heart. Isaiah 50-52 – amazing. Psalm 92 – incredible. 2 Peter 1 – life changing. I do not exaggerate here…these three portions of scripture could feed a starving nation. As I was journaling on the passages, I realized this: the mama deer is both brilliant and bumbling and I need to be more and less like her. Every day in the Word, I know that little seeds fall and are planted. But I live in a high-traffic area where it’s pretty hard to keep little ones alive if you aren’t willing to be absolutely vicious with the giant distractions that come rolling through. Two things the Holy Spirit very kindly mentioned:
- Be ruthless…rude…yay, verily, even mean-spirited with the things that are vying to dilute or destroy the word in your life. For me, I can’t do secular music – not because it’s evil, but because it’s like a minivan heading down the highway, aimed at the newly-birthed life in me. Internet? Same deal to some degree. Just two examples of a million other things that are hungry to turn revelation into roadkill if I’m not vigilant.
- Don’t – for goodness and Bambi’s sake – try to raise babies on the freeway. During the summer I don’t have to take kids to school, so I’ve been able to sleep later in the mornings and still have the same amount of time to do my “quiet time” (for unknown reasons, that term makes me laugh and I always feel the need to put it in quotations) before work. However, the trouble? It doesn’t work for me. The traffic starts rolling through my life by about 7:00 a.m., and so to really be with Him in a quiet, grassy area…to lay down by still waters and take a long drink…it has to happen earlier than that.
I would have liked to not post this today. I’d like for you to think my life is together and terrific all the time. But for me, this is like a public journal entry that will help me stay honest and focused on what I know works in my life. If it works for you as well, that’s great, but I would never want to impose my way on your way…I just include you in my journey because I like the company.
Excited for fresh life (but still not crazy about deer),
Bo
While we’re on the honest streak…let me tell you that I still am fighting to find what works for me in the morning, but over the last two, going on three, weeks, I think Corey and I have hit our stride – yet it’s something very familiar…the feeling that there’s a creepy slimy thing trying to get in between you and your morning time with God. Though I feel that creepy slimy thing especially now, I’m learning to recognize it, and I’m recognizing the feeling of failure, which is what will keep me entirely focused on fiercely protecting my morning time w/God against the barreling semi known as distraction. Be gone, slimy semi! 🙂
Well, I think we had similar weeks although I wasn’t at the beach but trying to secure a place there for August…scored though…so that is good…You have encouraged me…I am completely behind in my cover to cover reading and actually feel so overwhelmed by it that I haven’t been able to face it…hiding from it…can’t avoid it because I don’t want to miss a word but yet I just glance over at the Word and remain dreadfully behind but I am excited that I have those chapters among others in Isaiah to cover so you have lightened the load.
Totally have a different relationship with deer and you know we have our own “deer” in the form of our Chocolate Aussie named Hazel that we should have named Begonia because she eats flowers as well…ha! One day I will share about the profound lesson that the Lord gave me and it came in the form of seeing a baby deer in the last few moments of it’s life while I was in Denmark…deer vs. truck…not a pleasant image but yet…WE are living on their land…they are doing what they were born to do…but I won’t debate…
Thanks for keeping it real and letting us be real as well.
thanks for being honest! it’s refreshing!
Whit – you’re doing great. It took me 40 years to find some level of consistency in this and I still have to navigate my way through it and lean really heavily on grace when I don’t get it right…and when I do…and all the times in between.
Helen – as I searched for a deer picture, there were a bunch of the ones that had been hunted & killed and my heart grew three sizes for the plight of the deer and I almost added that in post script at the end. Then there was a picture of two of them standing in the middle of a bed of petunias, eating lunch, and…I decided maybe my heart had only grown one size or a size and a half. 🙂
Cassie – I loved your camp post! You really can never get enough pictures of Cheetohs and whipped cream.
I’m releived to know I am not the only one at this very moment lacking passion and not being ‘blown out of the water’ during my daily devotions. It’s these times when I know I have to dig really deep and listen much harder and be more determined to put the distractions aside to hear what God is saying to me.
My guilty conscience was getting the better of me over this and reading your post is like an encouraging shout out from God telling me I’m not the only one and it’s ok.
God is so cool that way.