I love blogging and I’ve loved sharing our journey here, but it can be tricky deciding what to say and what to hold in. I have always processed emotion by writing and so most of what I feel eventually finds its way to a page, but only a small fraction of it ends up here. A couple of nights ago, I was struggling with anxiety and started writing out some of the things that worry me so I could see their true size and shape on the page. I was also hoping that some answers or some comfort – perhaps a supernatural rebuttal – would appear as well. I wrote honestly and through tears and – in the end – found the hope I was looking for. Because of that hope, I decided to share this one even though its a perfect example of something I would ordinarily keep in the back of some tattered spiral notebook, far outside the scope of the public arena. I hope it’s for you or for someone you love. I hope it gives you courage.
Sometimes I worry…
…that my friends will feel like they’re out of encouraging things to say and they’ll find new friends on happier journeys. Then I remember who my friends are and what they’re made of. End of worry.
…that I won’t be enough of what everyone needs to face a challenge we never dreamed we’d face. And I guess with this one, I’m right; I will never be enough. But He will be enough God for both of us. For all of us. Forever.
…that I will miss a moment that’s important and it will slip through my fingers like water in sand. Then I remember that God is writing everything in His book and I can trust His memory even when I can’t trust my own.
…that I will in some way misrepresent the character of Jesus by making mistakes with my words or my attitude or just by losing my equilibrium in this storm. Then I remember: He is beautiful all by Himself and does not need me to defend Him.
…that our family, which has been marked by joy for so long, would now be defined by a disease or by sorrow or by loss. Then I look at them. From little to big, I watch them in worship and in conversation, riding bikes, building Legos, working hard and just living life well and I know: more than Stern, our name is Loved. I see it in my children most of all. His work is always and only beautiful, and it will be our definition.
…that life will never look normal again. Then I remember that He didn’t come to make me normal, He came to make me His.
“In the multitude of anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul.” Psalm 94:19
Yes, you are defined forever by WHOSE you are. You are loved (by God, and family, and dear friends, and even distant strangers). You are full of grace and joy. You are God ‘s family and His ambassadors in the kingdom. I’m glad you chose to let this page go public; it’s beautiful, and full of hope and faith. GOD’S mercy and grace will always be enough, for whatever He knows you’ll need!!!!
AMEN – well said!
Coffe with your sister-in-law would fix everything!!!
Love you sooooooo much! Thanks for your transparency!
Yes, even by distant strangers (or distant people part of your church family) I look upon your family and see that you are loved by Jesus. Not only that, but you are a family that loves and serves our Savior. You have teh ability to encourage and love the people around you just by serving Jesus. And being brave by sharing your inner-most worries and hopes. Thank you for sharing. And may God bless you and continue to give you His peace that surpasses all understanding through this storm we call life.
You are precious in His eyes and in mine, dear Bo.
Thank you for sharing the thoughts, prayers and praises of your journey. Your words are a balm to my soul, as I pray for God to enlarge the ground on which you and your family travel and to quide your steps. Know that the blessing you and Steve are to others will return to bless you one hundred fold. God does not waste our sorrows.
The arms of our prayers hold you tightly,
Mary
…even if your friends have grown quiet, know that they are still sending encouraging prayers to God for you to find peace and joy and stamina….and this worry wasn’t listed but I’m going to voice it for you Bo. Don’t worry that YOU need to be encouraging the rest of us. Yes, we are devastated for you, yes, we know God will accomplish his purposes through your family, and yes, we know you will claim it all to His Glory. Grace and Peace!
Thank you. Thank you for being transparent and real and authentic. It allows me to know Jesus more and causes my heart to grown with love for you too. (Though I thought it not possible!) I love you friend. Thanks for being my friend. Miss you.
God Bless you! You have encouraged me today!!
What beautiful thoughts.
Once again, profound and true. Thanks for sharing YOUR worries – we all have them – it’s our biggest sin – but it’s when we see Him as ENOUGH – ALWAYS that we are lifted above them – not our own goodness or strength. It’s in our weakness that HE IS strong – for everything…….our today as well as our tomorrow. I love you guys……more each day……..and I love that you are letting me walk this journey with you. HUGS!
As one familiar with grief, I can tell you that you are right. Life will not be normal again, at least not as we know it now. Instead, a new normal will appear and it, too, will be full of God’s goodness, His love, His presence, and His joy.
…tears; of empathy, compassion, and in celebration of His reality in/through you.
Beautiful. And i was encouraged in my own “sometimes” areas. Thank you for sharing! Praying for you guys daily,
Love you all . . . and praying for God’s continued, tangible presence in your lives!
Beautiful Bo. Thank you… and I will be passing this one on. xx
Beautiful, transparent, honest, inspiring. Very loving of you to share. I’m amazed at how you have the energy to care for others (like me) in the midst of this season. Thank you. Love you.
Thank you Bo. That’s it, just thank you. xo
Oh, you beautiful friend! I love you!
Thank you for sharing this. God Bless