I have been very transparent and open about an issue in my life. It’s not easy to admit it, and yet – here it is: I watch The Bachelor. I do. It’s like a Twinkie for your tv. And I feel better for having said it (yet again) here for the whole world to see. So last night as I watched the finale, I heard the “winner” say something that frustrated me. As she explained why their new relationship wasn’t turning out very happily ever after, she said, “We’ve had to go through something that most couples never have to go through.”
Yes, true. Most couples do not go through this.
But also…wha? You signed up. You showed up. You knew the gig. This sort of thing doesn’t just happen to someone. Applications to be on reality tv shows do not chase unsuspecting young women down dark alleys. Maybe you’ve been hurt and are all sorts of vulnerable. And maybe your heart has been broken before and it’s been everyone else’s fault. This one, though? This big, brassy, brutal attempt at love and winning? It’s on you.
I certainly don’t have all the answers on love, but here’s how I found my bachelor in 629 easy steps:
I met him and didn’t like him. We went out once anyway. We were pretty mean to each other. We dated other people. He got kicked out of Bible college (who does that?) I judged him harshly and openly to all my friends. He came back a changed guy (and maybe – it’s a little bit possible – that I had changed a lot as well). He took a big risk and wrote me a lovely note on a lonely Valentine’s Day. We went on a date and soon fell in love. Hard. And then we worked. Also hard. And sometimes we fought. And we loved. And stayed true when the world offered a lot of compelling reasons not to. We joined forces and gave ourselves to our children. We joined forces and gave ourselves to other people’s children. We loved the kingdom together. We love life together. We have never gone skydiving or bungee jumping or swimming with sharks. We have gone to Costco. A lot. And Home Depot. And recently on many romatic trips to hospitals. We have paid bills together, painted rooms together, prayed fervently together and just in general, tried really hard to make a home happen. That’s life. That’s love. It’s backbreaking work and there are no shortcuts.
However, there are also no substitutes.
To love and be loved – exclusively and extravagantly – is without a doubt the greatest gift of God this side of eternity.
I’m so glad I signed up.
I admit, I love watching that “stupid” show too!
LIke you said sometimes LOVE is hard. Thank goodness Gods love is the same today, yesterday and tomorrow!!!! HE sustains us.
You, ma’am, are all kinds of awesome. I love this. So, so much.
Excellent post and discription of a marriage. It IS work and there are ups and downs, but with God in the center, nothing is impossible.
As a poster I have says, “When one cries the other taste salt!”
The mystery of being “one” is eluded to in that statement. It’s a beautiful thing…
Yes! That is so true! Thanks for articulating it so well =) A vibrant encouragement to couples, i esp. like the part about not swimming with sharks or skydiving – but doing all the other things together that can be just as risky or hard and certainly memorable =) We spent this past Valentines Day at Lowe’s. With our kids.
And just the other day i was realizing how wonderfully safe it feels to know such an unconditional love … to know i can be me – as Christ is making me to be – in this relationship without fear of a sabotaged marriage or fading love. Dustin is so forgiving, non-judgmental, giving, and selfless. And he picked me! I feel ever so grateful to him and to God!
Oh my, I love this! Perfect analogy of Bachelor to twinkie, both junk food 🙂 don’t watch it, but won’t judge you because you do 😉
But the picture you painted of genuine love is the one that I know to be true, solid, and lasting! After 23 years, five kids, and a whole lot of “going through things that a whole lot of other couples have not” that has built us into something solid; built on The Rock that is solid in the midst of everything else that shakes and falls apart.
You. make. me. smile 🙂
Thanks for assuring me that I was not alone in my rants last night. 😉
STEVE got kicked out of Bible College??? REALLY??? WOW! I’ve always loved Steve to pieces but NOW I have WHOLE NEW LEVEL of respect for that wonderful man! ha!
Love you all more than a rebellious kid loves to skip school. 😉 WHO said that? ha!
YAY!!! I LOVE this story!!!