On Monday, Steve and I head off once again to see his doctor in Portland. This visit is his very first ALS Clinic (not to be confused with “clinicals”, which he decided against doing). The clinic is a four-hour appointment that involves many flavors of therapists, social workers and doctors. They will measure the progress of the disease and Steve’s overall health and will also help us with any problems that have come up since he was diagnosed.
This trip marks three months since our last visit, which was Diagnosis Day. Honestly, I’m a bit apprehensive about going back. While this is a wonderful team of people, I tend to associate the place with pretty bad news. And I do believe that staying positive and faith-filled inside anything called an “ALS Center” requires some mental and spiritual muscle. However, I know that things are different now than they were three months ago. We are no longer reeling. We are finding solid ground. We are seeing God’s purpose. We are more deeply in love than ever. These are the underpinnings that are keeping us sure-footed on shaky terrain.
Mostly, I think that we have found something of a new normal. While Steve has experienced changes in his strength and abilities, he is also finding a strength of spirit that he never knew he had before – probably because he never needed it this much before. I am finding a new ability to love the day and the moment and the man I’m married to without thinking too much about what the tomorrows will look like. This represents a change in my personality of nearly epic proportions and causes me to say: God be praised! He truly does bring great beauty from big battles.
And hey – look at this!
(See that handsome guy?)
On Wednesday, Steve will be speaking at an awesome men’s event called The Beast Feast. You better believe my beloved has a thing or two to say about his chosen topic: Time and Purpose. Will you pray with me for this Steve-assignment? Pray that he will have the strength he needs and that the Holy Spirit will make soft each heart to hear and receive the words of a man on an expedited mission? Oh, how I long for God to use this moment to make an eternal mark on the lives of many men and to turn the plans of the evil one back on his own head.
No post tomorrow since we’ll be returning from Portland, but I’ll let you know how Steve’s appointment goes.
Thanks for praying, friends – you’re a great gift to us.
Bo
Will definitely be praying for you. Thank you for sharing so much about your new normal, you’ve spoken volumes to me. And VERY cool about Steve’s men’s event – looks awesome!!
I will be praying!
We are praying. Love to read your posts Bo!!!!
Bo, your posts so inspire me. I’m in the middle of a lot of life changes right now too; though, they are nothing as proportionally serious as yours, I feel the apprehension thing also. This morning God gave me a verse and I kinda sensed I was supposed to share it with you: So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.-Isaiah 41:10
Thank you, Jean – I love that verse! So much strength in that! I will pray for your season as well.
Love this line: “I am finding a new ability to love the day and the moment and the man I’m married to without thinking too much about what the tomorrows will look like.”
Am inspired by all that you share. Praying for your today.
A friend sent me your blog because she said you reminded her of me. It took me a while to visit. My husband was diagnosed with leukemia when our oldest was 9 months old (he is now 15). We fought for 6 1/2 years and saw God RADICALLY change us; especially me. We saw God deliver him (when the doctors said it wasn’t possible) and since then we go through infusion therapies at home to handle a neurlogical condition he has from all the chemo he took. I say all of this to say I think we have much in common. I have written our testimony if you’re interested. There are a few posts on my blog but possibly hard to find. Again, if you have the time and want to read let me know and I”ll send you the specific links.
In the meantime we will be fervently praying for your husband’s healing and believing wholeheartedly that God will use this in so many ways. Ways you won’t ever know about and ways you will see as plain as the nose on your face. God will and does take what was meant to destroy and turn it to His glory. All I know is we too are more in love than ever, there is a wisdom and a depth to our marriage that was hard earned. Our children know how to pray, really pray. Their faith is that of giants. Our hearts can minister to those who are hurting because we’ve been there. We get it. I praise God for using this tragedy in our lives to refine us and I can tell that you can already see Him using it in yours. Hang in there; I know the days get long sometimes.
Oh, thank you Jill, for your comment – I don’t know how I missed it last week, but I just ran into it this morning right when I needed it. I’m going to visit your blog ASAP – I think you may have some light for my road ahead. 🙂
Bo