One year ago last week marked the anniversary of the start of our search for the name of Steve’s illness. In the beginning, we had no idea it would land where it’s landed, but I have to say that from that very first day, I had a certain sense of foreboding that the direction we were headed was dark. The year has been filled to the brim with hope and disappointment, fear and peace, joy and despair, sorrow and dancing. Filled. My life looks incredibly different this July…and incredibly the same. I still have those I love the most, and I have added a great number of names to that list. I still have home and hope and Jesus. I still have a job I love and have adopted a new sense of purpose. Every day is still a fight for joy, but I like to believe that most days we win. I have grown new muscle spiritually and emotionally and have learned that the phrase “I will not fear” is like a 200-lb barbell – and every time I lift it, I get stronger for the next time.
I know less this year than I knew last year. But what I know, I know more certainly, more absolutely than ever before. I am sure of very little – but I stick to that truth like glue.
A month or so ago, Corey sent me this song. It’s become my Truth Glue. When I feel life or joy or peace or hope slipping…this song fastens me again to what I know for sure. I haven’t yet made it through the song without crying and I’m okay with that. Actually, I’m breathing a prayer right now that I never will. Let me never get so familiar with Your grace that I’m unmoved or unchanged when I hear its story.
Thank you, blog friends and family, for keeping me company on this arduous adventure. We are so grateful.
Breathing in grace, breathing out praise,
Bo for Team Stern
Awesome song. You and Steve and family continue in our prayers.
Thanks Bo for sharing the song, “Never Once” – it is really a great song. We think of you and Steve often and do pray for your family. Probably you know about our faith walk that we have gone through with our Granddaughter (age 8) being diagnosed with a brain tumor and cancer in the spinal fluid. She is now considered “cancer free” – not a cancer patient even though she goes for tests at St. Louis Children’s Hospital regularly. Thank God for His sustaining grace and strength through our life’s most darkest hours. He is faithful and we must keep our eyes fixed on Him no matter what. Love from the Hummer’s
Beautifully said. Our disappointments make our hopes soar, our fears reinforce our peace, our despair magnifies our joy, and sorrows turn our hearts to praise. I love that God transforms the bad, the ugly and the evil into good and beautiful and holy.
Thank you for your inspiration. May God continue to richly bless you.