One of my kids left for Mexico today, and two leave tomorrow. Based on this information, can I share two embarrassing confessions?
- I didn’t want Tori to go because she leaves for college in a few weeks and I’m jealous for time with her.
- I didn’t want Whitney and Corey to go because they’ll be gone over the Fourth of July which is my favorite holiday and our family has never been apart on that day.
Shallow and self-centered? Absolutely. But really, truly living in my heart? Yep.
I’m not a novice at sending my kids to other countries – they’ve gone a lot. But I’ve found that no matter how old they get, I don’t get used to it. It’s not like life just goes on as usual…it’s like a piece of me is there too, and It’s frustrating to “go to Mexico” without GOING to Mexico, you know? It’s like all the worry and none of the turquoise water and fresh tortillas. My regular, ordinary thoughts get jumbled up with wondering what time it is there, and hoping Tori puts her passport back in her bag instead of leaving it on some bathroom counter (which I fear because she is exactly like me). That thought leads to a whole series of questions regarding how to replace a missing passport and/or smuggle a girl out of the country who has misplaced one. I review the things they packed, and then hope they’ll survive if their luggage ends up in Montana instead of Mexico. I hope they’re sleeping well and eating well and aren’t getting sick or lonely or frustrated at the people they would otherwise enjoy being with.
I know these sound like the obsessive ramblings of an overprotective mother…but I also know that lots of mom’s – even the very bravest – would agree with me. You want to let go of them, but it’s hard to get the thoughts of them to let go of you.
We sing a song by United that says, “I would give the world to tell Your story.” I used to love that line, until it stopped being about me. Because it’s a whole new proposition to sing: “I would give my kids to tell Your story.” It’s a big deal to release them to all that’s contained in the unknown…to give them to another place…to launch them into a dangerous destiny. It wouldn’t really be worth it, except for this truth: the story of Jesus is life-changing and world-shaking and it must be told in every corner of the earth.
Eternity insists on it.
And so I will give my kids to that purpose, knowing that Heaven will win and will not be in debt to me.
Viva la Mexico,